From Ravello to Cetara

All down hill from now on.... or so we thought!!!!

This morning we tried very hard to book a few more nights at this lovely hotel but it was not to be. We were unable to cancel the hotel

we had arranged for our final few days by the sea , and so sadly, had to force the few things we had taken out of our cases back in, and prepare to leave once again.....

But not before we had watched England playing Australia in the World Cup game which was being shown on the TV. Ok, so we had to put up with the very overexcited presenters giving a non stop commentary in Italian, but it was a real bonus to be able to see the game, and Dear Richard wasn’t going anywhere until it was over!!!

Breakfast had been taken in the “canteen” without the brooding presence of “Cruella de Grill” and had consisted of the usual fare.... no eggs this morning, but as always a positive bakery shop worth of pastries and cakes......we helped ourselves to a few extra for an afternoon snack ..... well ....you never know when you might need a little sustenance , and I do like to be prepared for every eventuality!!

Check out was interesting as our complaints were dealt with by a very defensive little man who blamed my problems with the internet on a recent storm . He did however sympathise with the restaurant debacle ...... probably because every person who had been in there the previous night had complained..... and reduced the bill to compensate us.....

On the way to the Corsa I made Dear Richard take some pictures of me by the little van..... well I felt that I was grossly under represented in that department..... he almost never has his phone with him and so it tends to be me in the role of tour photographer!!!!! which means that I rarely appear in any of our pictures!!... which sometimes pisses me off a bit .....ok...!!

And I took one of him so

he didn’t feel left out !!!

And so, photos done , Sally programmed and Corsa loaded we set off on what we thought would be a short trip down the coast to Cetara.

Ha ha..... you would think we’d have learnt by now that whenever things seem to be simple something will go wrong.....

We drove down the hill and along the coast..... enjoying the scenery and looking forward to seeing the next hotel.......

We passed a sign that appeared to suggest that there was a problem on the road ahead, but obviously we couldn’t understand it , and so carried on. As the road started to climb we were flagged down by a woman who told us..... in English..... it’s very embarrassing to find that most people

in Italy have some grasp of our language, while we know absolutely nothing of theirs....

that the road ahead was closed due to a landslide... and here’s the thing.....where we wanted to go was literally just on the other side of the blockage...... but the only way around it was an enormous loop which would take about two hours to complete!!!!

With no other choice than to take the detour..... well I suppose we could have found a boat, but we didn’t have time for that..... we turned around ..... and then we realised why all the traffic had turned off the coast road.... the bastards knew ....

And so began a long, slow trip along a very steep and winding road, once again the scenery was stunning.... and once again Dear Richard had to take my word for it as there was no way I was allowing him to take his eyes off the road....

Of course as every other bugger who wanted to get to the other side of the blockage was also taking this difficult mountain route, things were moving quite slowly....we were following a coach which really struggled with the hairpin bends and the gradient. Eventually we got to the top..... below us was a wide valley which was clearly the site of a large city, and towering over it was a huge mountain.... I did a double take ..... yes it was bloody Vesuvius and the city below us was Naples!!!!! We both struggled with the fact that we appeared to be back where we started days ago...... anyway we were going down and soon signs for Salerno started to appear.

We drove through a town.... guess what,it was a Saturday..... so every citizen of that place was out shopping.... both of us needed a wee so we weren’t best pleased at having to sit for half an hour in the slow moving traffic watching people looking for parking spaces.... or as is normal in Italy .... just abandoning their car wherever and hoping for the best. Banks are notorious places for idiotic parking.... side by side, diagonal and sticking out into the road..... I could hear them saying as they jumped out leaving the car completely blocking the road.... “I won’t be a sec....I’m only popping into the bank!!!( in Italian of course!!)

Legs crossed we negotiated the mess that was Saturday lunchtime in town and finally found ourselves moving and on the way to Cetara. Most of the traffic turned off to the motorway for Salerno but we opted for the country route and were surprised when we saw the sea and Sally indicated that we were reaching our destination. Once again she got it all wrong and so we drove straight past the entrance to the hotel , which was right on the side of the road....for some reason she always gets the side of the road completely the wrong way round..... she will say “your destination is ahead on the right” and so that’s where we are looking, much to the annoyance of anyone who has the misfortune

to be following us at that particular moment, because of course we are going slowly so we don’t miss it.... and all the time we are sailing past it because it’s on the flipping left!!!

So after turning round....rather fortuitously in the parking area of a little pottery which seemed only to produce ceramic fish..... more of this later..... we retraced our steps and pulled into the parking area. The only way in was by lift , which was novel, we decided to suss things out before unloading the luggage.... well once bitten and all

that!!!.....and so emerged into a large open reception area with lovely views of the sea.

We were arriving much later than predicted but the receptionist seemed to know all about it.... her reaction suggested that it happened all the time, which I suppose it does given the geography of the area.

Our room was enormous..... the balcony was not, and within seconds

of opening the doors we were surrounded by biting bastards who had been lying in wait in the vegetation.... no doubt starving and ready for a meal!!!! We very quickly retreated inside and shut the doors , but quite a few of them managed to follow us in and so we spent quite a long time flapping towels and squinting ...... you see them and then the little bastards disappear... hence the squinting!!!!

Finally we had exterminated enough of them to feel that we wouldn’t be eaten alive and so fetched the luggage from the car , and...... huge sigh...... unpacked.... a three night stay being just long enough to warrant the pain of repacking again.

Due to its position on the side of the cliff the hotel seemed to have been built into the rock and there were signs of this all over the place.

We decided to explore a bit and try to find the beach that had been a large part of our reason for choosing this hotel.

But first ,as were both starving, we followed the delicious smells of cooking towards the restaurant , which because it was Saturday was heaving.... we were very surprised as the Hotel was very much in the middle of nowhere, although when they brought us the menu we realised that it wasn’t your run of the mill little place offering touristy stuff.... oh no , this was full on fine dining with prices to match.....

All we wanted was a drink and a snack, but there was nothing which fitted that bill, so we decided to have something substantial for lunch and a snack later. We both had a plate of fried fish, which was delicious, especially when eaten on a terrace with an amazing view to look at.

Sometime later, fuller of stomach and a lot lighter of wallet , we found our way to the spa..... darlings they did nails..... mine were so badly in need of doing after more than three weeks ..... yes yes, I know I should be focussing more on the view or the beach.... we’ll get to that in a moment.... and yes there are far greater problems

in the world than me getting my nails done....... but ...... here was the opportunity, and in a very few seconds I had made an appointment for later that evening..... today was the beautiful young assistants last day so there wasn’t much of a choice ....and the spa was right next to the gym so Dear Richard was also catered for

(he had been wanting to do whatever it is he does in the gym for a while)

RESULT on all levels.

Bouyed up by the euphoria of having a manicure I set off on the path ( just outside the spa, which was handy) to the beach..... and guess what...... yes , another f***ing downhill trek!!! Well I suppose I should have known , given the location of the hotel, but really...... and so down we went,my heart sinking with every step as I anticipated the return trip.

When we got there it was another stony strip of land, but as winter was on the way the bar had been closed and all but a few sunloungers locked away until next summer. It was late afternoon and the sun had disappeared from all but the far side of the pebbly area available for sunbathing. The sea however was clear and warmish but I could see that getting in and out of it would be an issue.

Having decided that it might be worth a go tomorrow....... oh joy.... we climbed back up the bloody hill.... I swear to God after all this climbing I should be as fit as a flea..... but I am still gasping for breath and my legs are ready to fall off after two seconds!!!!

Dear Richard , who as usual skipped along like a flipping gazelle, changed and accompanied me to the spa.....I was so excited ..... and disappeared into a room next door while I prepared to conduct a conversation about what I wanted done, with someone who unusually, didn’t speak any English. It was tricky, but we got there, and she made a lovely job of my nails. I’m not sure what Dear Richard was doing in the gym..... which wasn’t very big and didn’t have much equipment.......because he was very quiet.... so quiet in fact that at one point I called out and asked

him if he was ok.....as I thought he might have passed out !!!!!

And so we were both happy for very different reasons.... and I was feeling like a drink!!! After another attempt at ridding the room of bastard biters, a shower and a thorough spray with our new improved mosquito repellant, which wasn’t at all repellant.... in fact it smelt quite nice, but hopefully not to the biters...... time would tell!!!!!...... we decided to go in search of a sandwich.

Now bear in mind that we are in a hotel.....

reception looked at us as though we were asking for the original

of the Mona Lisa when we enquired as to where we might obtain a sandwich or small snack......they directed us to the bar....... down in the lift we went ..... the bar was empty...... we hung around and a barman appeared..... he gave us the same look and said he could manage toast!!!! Finally , he agreed to ask in the restaurant so we ordered chips and bruschetta, a couple of drinks and waited with our fingers crossed.... thank heavens, because if there had been no chance of food someone would have paid a heavy price.....our snack arrived and all was well. To celebrate we had two more drinks and then retired to try and watch something in a language we could understand.....

We both fell asleep while we watched..... well it had been another stressful day..... I know we are on holiday and as such are enjoying an extended period of doing sweet FA, but some days sweet FA wears you out!!!! .....OK!!!!